well, I figured it all out, my thryroid is failing, but it does not require a doctor,  just supplements, so all of my paranoia has been resolved, but the world still sucks, well at least the whole corona virus bs. and no work coming down the pike, just cheap crooks, or worse self-managed general contractors, biggest waste of time and money to deal with, espessially the wanta beees  🙂   waste of my time, but we shall see. something will pop up.