My biggest failure, is one that I WAS UNAWARE OF,  food is medicine, and poison.  The Internet is the greatest things to ever happen in my life, besides becoming a father, yet it came too late in the game, to save my own father or to be able to ensure that my offspring, would live healthy lives, not only healthy, but vibrant lives, the toxins we put into our bodies in the form of sustenance is sickening. The lives we are programmed to live, toxic.  I keep thinking of Walt Frizzell and Joe Warwick, they worked themselves to an early grave, I mean no diss on thier lives, They both produced loving families, and were very loved, both were working to death do us part with this life. I learned this too late for my father, he too had eaten his way to an early grave. In the face of facts, Science as  all the sheep like to exclaim, the SCIENCE is that sugar is Poison.  Flour,  Spaghettis, Bread, Pasta, is all poison, this is real Science, the maskers think the mask is science, that is ridiculous, over 650,000 people die each year from heart disease, another fact. or Science, yet they keep stuffing the packaged flour products down our throats, and we keep shoveling it in, not until we are dying of cancer, heart disease, or other body failure, due to poor diet, 75% of Americans are overweight, that is staggering. These are the same people dying of Covid, from our American shit diet. Lately, I have felt lost, like what is it all for?  I am going to die like my father, alone and lost. The biggest issue I have, is that all of this has been known for years, back to the day of Luigi Cornaro, 400 years ago, we are overeating pigs. we can not even control our eating. we eat anything. The family is not longer important. it is just a phase, you have kids raise kids, and done. keep in touch, but separate lives, unless your rich like biden  or trump. or you win the lottery. I failed my own father, chasing this fkn shit American dream, of all the people in the world, he perhaps loved me most, yet I failed him, caught up in the bullshit lies. I had a dream last night, my dad was in it, probably gave me the inspiration to type this drabble today, it also had some non-descript people, relatives, but nobody in particular that I can remember. I have been lately thinking why waste my time, on people that really do not give a rats shit about about me?  this damn land and the issues, along with the Native bullshit, I am of a mind to just will it to some real natives, at least some with black hair, we are all natives, but not. my dad had black hair, but he was only 1/4 if even that, most of the natives in my family are fair haired, not black. It looks like I will never get to use the land, unless I win the lottery, or just go out there an live alone. my connection to the land has been severed. the question is do I even want this life, chasing a dream of living my life in a trailer or some asinine existence? My dad was living in a trailer in a park, before he was hospitalized with dementia, there were warning signs, I did not heed or ignored. I was the One person on this planet that could have saved him, yet I was learned to late, but maybe he just needed love, to be loved.  He had such a dark life, yet he as also blessed to live with freedom.  His dream was for us to own and build our housed out in Uganik, he lived a great chunk of his life there and on Woody Island, I was also blessed to live in both places for a time, still the most peace in my life. The land forgotten, no bars cars and not many people. he had boats, hunted, fished and lived the life we were meant to live, I failed him as a son, I will hold that burden to the day I die. sad, but true. I will share his dark story soon. his demons, as I know them.